Your phone has got a message for you. It wants a divorce. From Facebook. But, oh, Facebook still wants to stay married.
Like a jealous lover, it follows you from room to room, tapping at your shoulder and nagging you.
Your phone wants out. It’s worried about you. It thinks you can do without the constant spam, the marketing and the watching of your every move.
It’s probably right.
There are a lot of good reasons to break up with Facebook – at least on your cellphone.
In the beginning, Facebook was a great tool. In some ways, it still is.
It brought you and your friends together. And got your family back in touch. Constant touch.
Let’s just think about that for a second. It is one thing catching up with great aunt Mabel once in a while. But do you really need to know about her piles at 3 am in the morning?
Being close to family and friends is one thing. But being constantly updated by this army of strangers who’ve mysteriously adopted you, is another. Just who the hell are these people?
The woman who constantly posts selfies, the SJW who argues with anyone, about anything and everything.
People you once liked, depressing you with their constant memes. The dog bore. The cat bore. The endless cat videos.
The list goes on.
Do you really need to give all these people your urgent attention literally all the time?
In fact, if you even get a status from your “friends”, you’re doing well. Because the chances are, it is more likely to be an advert.
More often these days, your updates are probably marketing spam.
Half the time of that, it’s advertising something you’ve actually just bought. And has fallen apart already.
Other times, it’s clickbait, memes (more dogs) and sometimes, frothing fake “news” stories. And did you really need to be woken up at 4 am in the morning to hear about it?
The fact is, that keeping track of your actual real friends and family is more likely to happen outside of Facebook and for the rest, well, you can wait for the next thrilling update of what your dull as dishwater colleague had for his tea.
And it’s not only you who can live without the constant “updates”. Also, your phone will thank you.
Without the Facebook app running, you will find it runs better and also that the battery won’t drain faster than an alky’s breakfast can of special brew.
More to the point, you won’t find yourself contracting regular doses of armchair rage entering into, or just reading, other peoples’ pointless arguing.
And when you do need to check in with the world – so much better to do it at a time of your choosing and not in real time?
Remember, even if you do break up with the social media tool on your phone, you can still remain “just good friends” with it, on your desktop device!
So, isn’t it time you granted your cellphone a divorce from Facebook?